Bad Mood . . . Take a Hike, Literally!

It always amazes me how much a good long walk (or hike) can really make the difference in your attitude. Its so hard to be miserable when you are surrounded by so much beauty (and fresh air). Its so easy to be distracted in the woods, I'm sure in the dark you really get distracted by it!!

Here are a few pics I snapped when we took Roscoe to Soumi Hills for a nice little HOUR long jont!!

Crabby Crappy!!

My word of the day, the only thing I can think of to describe how much of a funk I'm in these last two days. No real reason, but nothing has worked to change my mood. So my plan is to just ride it out!!

Poor Hubby!!

On the other hand I want to say I am super excited and put all of my good vibes into my friend Carrie. They are primed for their IVF egg donor transfer!! Thursday is the donors retrieval, then from there they will transfer embryos on Sun (3day) or Tues (5day). She is over at "Life in the Soupbowl" if you want to follow!! Add your prayers too!

))) Good Vibes (((

Later (when I'm out of my funk)!!

DHEA miracle or hype??

I'm not sure how much I've mentioned about DHEA. I started taking it just over a month ago (August 11th to be exact). The research I've found on it says it takes about 4 months for it to really be effective due to egg production (development starts 3 months prior to ovulation). I also started taking fish oil for my Omega-3, since I don't eat much in that department.

I have not mentioned taking DHEA to my doc since I haven't seen her since our first round of clomid. DHEA is an over-the-counter supplement, but may ask her about getting a prescription, depending on her views of it. I plan on making an appt or calling IF (positive thinking) my next cycle begins. I have a few thoughts/questions I would like to go over before for my third/last round of Clomid.

I'm taking 25mg three time a day (75mg total). Some of the research and studies I've read states anywhere from 25mg to 150mg daily. I decided on 75 since it was a happy medium and it was listed as protcol for one study I found.

Side effects: One that really stands out is mild headaches but that is normal since it supposedly increases estrogen=headaches. I figured that out on Clomid too!! The other thing I've noticed is *TMI to follow* increased cervical mucus. Not a bad thing at all!! I'm not as HUNGRY lately either . . . BONUS!

Here are a couple of the websites I've found:

www.centerforhumanreprod.com/premature_ovaries.html


www.ingentaconnect.com/content/oup/humrep/2000/00000015/00000010/art02129

Feel free to send me any comments or thoughts you have.

My Garden . . .

A moment of silence . . .

for all the men, women and children who lost their lives 7 years ago today in the WTC, Shankville, and Pentegon terrorist attacks. That day is still clear in my mind. What I felt when I first heard about the first plane, then listening to all the updates throughout the morning. I was at work giving a permanent to a client and all I wanted to do was call all of my friends and family. I knew no one personally involved but such a tragedy reminds you of how quick loved ones can be gone forever.

MUSHY STUFF:
To all of you reading this, I love you all and hope to see you soon.

*silence*

The B*tch is Back!

Cycle Day 1. I am amazed at the hope I always seem to have during the two week wait. I convince myself that every cycle I am one step closer to our miracle of conceiving our child. I go over all the positives . . no blockage, DH has great sperm count, I ovulate normal without drugs (textbook 28-29 day cycles), produce lots of follicles when on meds, I don't smoke, rarely drink (not much when I do), I'm otherwise healthy (could lose a few pounds), no allergies, have tons of education now on my cycle and body, vitamins, eating better, getting sleep, relaxation and meditation up the a**, working out. . . you name it I'm working on it. Even last night when I started spotting I gave myself a pep talk:

*The time isn't right, perfection takes time. You need one more month to enjoy without morning sickness, worries of miscarriage, getting finances in better standing, one last glass of wine, losing a couple more pounds for a healthier pregnancy. Your still young, lots of women don't start IVF until 36-40. Don't worry we aren't even at the two year mark. Lots of other treatments to try, add the HCG shot on the next clomid cycle, then three cycles of IUI, then we still have IVF. It will happen*

I got up, took my advil (cramps!!), and went to work, made a trip to Walmart, went to lunch with DH, put stuff away, laid down and bawled!! I almost made it without crying my eyes out this time. Damn tears snuck up on me. Why did I think I could handle it any better this time?

Tomorrow I will pick my self up again, by the end of this week I will be thinking about trying one more month, I will ovulate, and another two week wait begins. Hope is reborn.

I know the strength is not mine.

I guess I've been slacking a bit. Still trying not to spend too much time on my computer but between bills online, mine and others blogs, email, iphone music and apps, and of course Facebook, it's hard!!

Last weekend we went to the cities and spent some time with my sis Lori, her BF Tim, and my nephew Zak. Also sis Kelly and BF Pat made it over to join us at the Reneisance Festival. We had and great time . . .

Kelly and Zak


Zak and his "Must Have" Turkey Leg



Zak and his crossbow



As you can see we love having our nephew along. Pretty good kid and doesn't ask for much.

On Sunday we were at my Dad and Steph-moms for a BBQ. I really didn't get many pics with so much going on but here are a couple . . .

Dad's Fruit Tree


My Parents new puppy Tessa (5 months old)




We got home on Monday afternoon after picking Roscoe up from his other grandparents (mom and Den). Oh, how I missed him!! I managed to hold off the check-in calls until Monday morning. Boy do we need to have children!!

We got our information packet regarding adoption, i only read a small part of it and set it aside. We are not truely giving up on TTC, but I thought that refocusing our efforts might help the anxiety. Its not working. Reading our chances of adopting a baby is pretty slim. Mostly what they talk about are kids that are currently in the system but have physical, social, and/or emotional problems. It makes me sad but also scared. I feel aweful wanting a baby, but unsure of taking a child with problems I wouldn't be prepared for. I haven't been able to pick up the adoption stuff since. My concern is that adoption takes time and the longer we wait we may miss many opportunities. There is a 2 hour introduction class, and lots of paperwork to fill out. Then the next 16 hour class is October 2 & 3. I need to give it some more time and thought.