Hormones, Holidays, and Hope!!

DH, MIL, FIL, and I went to "Marley and Me" yesterday and it was great, but bring tissues (especially if pregnant)!! All I kept thinking about was my Roscoe!!


The Greatest Dog EVER!!

I am super hormonally sensitive lately. For those of you who don't know me personally, even before I was pregnant I would cry at commericals and when I was younger I was not allowed to watch "Lasie, "Flipper", "Benji", or any thing with animals in danger or lost. Tears would flow at the thought of any of them getting hurt or killed. So can you imagine me now!?!?

I feel so much conflict after reading some of my other bloggers experiences. I am drawn back into the "what ifs" and "how comes". I've found that with my emotional state so very sensitive, it keeps me in check to the awareness of others' losses and my own blessings.

To Emilies family over at "Lemmondrops", her husband Steve and their two boys (2 years old and 9 months old) I am so sorry for the loss of her to cancer. Her blog, even though I had only been reading it for the last couple months, gave me a clearer understanding of the importance of daily life. Emilie and Steve's dedication also showed the strength of the faith they shared as a family.

And to my friend over at "Life in our Nutchell", Chell's miscarriage and the honest emotions she shares since then. I wish I could wrap my arms around them and make them feel whole again. I know this is not my purpose and this "well wishing" won't change anything, but I feel like I am only able to wave at them from the other side of these life events with pangs of guilt for how far I've made it so far. Yet they still have understanding and strength to say the best of prayers for the rest of our journey.

I always have those mixed feelings after the holidays. The relief of them being done and no more hussle and bussle, but the blahs of back to work and the daily grind. But this year I am so thankful I still have baby to keep me looking forward to 2009. I can't believe that I am at 12 weeks, it so surreal! Excited about having a baby bump, feeling the first kicks, my next u/s to "see" our little one, finding out if its a boy or girl, getting the nursery ready, anticipation of the arrival, and the homecoming. Cheers to 2009!

My hopes for 2009 are to quit, lose, and save.
QUIT taking my life and family for granted,
LOSE my would've, could've, should've attitude,
and SAVE my memories that have renewed my faith in god, people, and the future.

Happy HoliDAZE!!

I am already exhausted and Christmas is still 5 days away!!

I had my first offical OB appt on the 10th the day we left to go up north to Lutsen. All is great and the best part is that I am not considered "high-risk"!! So I won't be having the amnio and other additional tests. We just went over the rest of what to expect over the next couple appts, had a pap, blood drawn, and urine. Pretty simple.

Lutsen was relaxing and great to catch up with everyone. Got some more great presents for the baby. Bibs, book, journal, and musical frog. So sweet that I would rather open things for baby than myself, but I did get some cute maternity tops from my brother (he drew my name, and my SIL helped)!!

**my pics from Lutsen didn't turn out, only had my cell camera, need one with zoom etc**

This last week has been HELL. This time of year is crazy for me at work, on my feet all day! Its great money, but hard to get everyone in which makes for some long days. Two more days left (Mon and Tues) then I can relax again for a little while.

Tomorrow we are headed to the cities, DH Christmas present from me is a trip down to the Vikings/Falcons football game! We set a limit this year so it worked out pretty good, at least it's something I know he wants and will enjoy!!

To all of you I wish the simple joys of being with loved family and friends. Happy Holidays!!

Relaxing . . .

we are up north at Caribou Highlands townhomes by Lutsen. So far we've all gotten settled and waiting for parents to arrive. Playing wii, making food, and catching up on each others lives.

We will celebrate our "old fashion Christmas" on Saturday evening. Most my siblings will be skiing Friday and Saturday. I will be reading my new book, "The Story of Edgar Sawtell", my pick for the next bookclub in Feb (sometime, have to pick a date).

I plan on taking pics to share with you all later.

And the stockings were hung by the chimney with care!

We are all decorated for the Christmas and even put up an extra stocking for Baby Gibby! My favorite part (after going into the cold weather, picking up the real tree, messing with the tangled lights, and finding the perfect branch for the ornaments, putting away everything so I can have room for my snowmen, Christmas pictures, and nativity scene) is sitting down with hot cocoa this year, usually its wine, and admiring the lights, the sentimental holiday gifts from years past, and now seeing the beginning of our family displayed in a row over the fireplace.

Very emotional the last couple days, evened out with random mood swings. Poor hubby, he's handling it great but I wouldn't be surprised to find coal in my stocking this year!!

Still feeling great, more and more tired every week. Clothes are starting to get a little snug but I think I can make it til after the holidays to start shopping for clothes.

Ultrasound Day!

I was on pins and needles all day at work waiting to go to our ultrasound appointment!

I had a tear run down my face as soon as we heard the heartbeat. Can't get the image out of my mind of seeing his/her heartbeat on the screen. Yes, we are only having ONE very wanted baby!! I still feel great and now it all seems more real to us.

Delivery due date got pushed back a few days, our new due date is July 15th. Clomid changes my cycle length so it set us back about 4 days. Haven't decided if I want to change my ticker yet. I have my official first OB appt in two weeks so we'll see then how we are doing. **I really don't want to wait longer than I have to to see our baby!!**

Our tech made it very clear where the baby is in the pic, pretty obvious anyway. At least I don't have to pretend like Racheal did on FRIENDS.



Happy Thanksgiving to all of you taking time to read my blog. Our list of things we are grateful for is long and so precious this year. We wish you all a healthy and hopeful holiday!!

7 Weeks

Just to show how our little one(s) progressing, here are a few 7-8 week photos of the developement!!


Hand at Day 48


Hand at Day 51


Foot at Day 51


Foot at Day 60


I am truely in awe of what is going on inside and I feel better than I ever have! I hope the rest of this pregnancy goes this wonderfully!

One more week . . .

I can't wait, one more week til our first ultrasound. Time is going by so slowly but all is good. I feel great!! No morning sickies, still tired and sometimes would give anything for a nap. Right on the floor where I stand even!!

We are approaching our 7 week mark and I am still in awe that we are finally pregnant! Sometimes I forget and then suddenly out of the blue I get this smile on my face and get all giddy again. Jerry looks at me and says "Did you forget again?" So obvious!!

Did I mention my love of tomatoes lately! I have to have V8 veggie juice every day, sometimes twice. I could take a bite out of a raw tomato right now! Pizza sauce, spagetti sauce, salads, anything with tomatoes!!

Baby Gibby's First Present

Thanks to "Auntie Ali", BG has his/her's first gift.



Thanks to Grandma Patton and Sean, Jess, & Jax for the cards. Its very sweet to know everyone is excited for our new arrival.

All is good here at 6 weeks, no sickies yet.

5 weeks and 6 days . . .

and all is going good. By noon I get really tired and that lasts just until I go to bed. I mostly feel bad for my clients since I don't seem as talkative, by the time I finish them they are yawning and ready for naps too.

Yesterday I did have a small bout of quesyness, but it didn't stay very long. Now I have crackers and juice stashed everywhere.

After several days of playing phone tag with my OB-GYN we decided to schedule an early ultrasound, Nov 26th at 3:15!! I can't wait, I'm sure I'm only carrying one but Doc wants to make sure since I was on Clomid and the monitored cycle I produced 6follicles. Then if all is suffice she will send me back to my FP Doc.

Tomorrow, as per our current calculations, I will be at 6 weeks and it seems like time is passing really s - l - o - w. As long as everything keeps going well I'm fine with it.

Belated Trick AND Treat

So when I left off I had just taken a HPT and it was Neg (so I thought). I was on 14DPO so I figured if I was to get a + it would be loud and clear. On Clomid though, my cycles go from 28 days to 32.

Our plans for Halloween were to drive (3.5 hours) to Grand Forks to go out with DH's friends. On the way there we stopped at Taco Johns and went through the drive thru to save time on the trip. Well the second DH carried the bag into the car it smelled aweful. Something wasn't right, DH thought it was fine. I started to eat my potatoe oles, and they were ick!! DH tasted and said they were fine, I still couldn't eat them, ate my tacos but they seemed off too.

Kept driving and by the time we got to our destination I made DH stop at Target. I bought another test and went straight to the ladies room, peed, stuffed all in my purse and went to the car. Checked it in the car and I saw it, that very faint line. I was questioning what I was seeing b/c I wanted to see IT for soooooo long. DH checked and he saw faint line too.

Called my friend Carrie (she's a pro at these tests) and told her what was going on. She instructed my to go to Walmart and get Equate and Clearblue. Done, but then I couldn't pee. Nervous, Anxious Excited, ETC!!!

We all decided to go to the bar and grab a bite and some drinks (virgin bloody mary for me). So finally right before we headed over to the hockey game I grabbed a plastic cup and headed to the ladies room again.

Peed and did both tests, first the Equate with the plus or minus sign and then the Clearblue digital with the words. Checked the Equate first and couldn't see much the lighting wasn't the best and I was sure that I had gotten my hopes up for nothing. Went to pick up the tests and looked at the Clearblue and . . . . PREGNANT!!!! Clear as day that perfect word I had been dreaming of seeing was spelled out for me.

Next morning and all weekend POAS everyday!!! PREGNANT!!!

Monday labs:

Progesterone = 108 (good, don't need suppositories)
HCG beta = 39

Weds labs:

HCG beta = 87 (Great, numbers are doubling)

I have my first OB appt on December 10th!!!

Thank you all for your prayers and support!

First Family Pics

Digital camera = $99.00
Dental bill for photogenic smiles = $1000.00




Realizing that there are three people in this picture (not including Roscoe) . . .
PRICELESS!!

I know I have some explaining to do, that will be my next post.

A Weekend of Lows and Highs

The weekend may have started off saddening but improved. I don't have time to update but just be sure to check out this blog for the full story of everything that went on later this week.

TTFN

Boo Hoo

Today was test day, NEG!

Not much else to say. Sad. Thought we had the best chances this time.

Happy Hauntings for the rest of ya.

Bookclub Night

Well tonight I am meeting with a bookclub for the first time. Should be fun since I know a few of the ladies (clients), but the book wasn't one I would have picked. It was "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands", by Dr. Laura.

If you know anything about her, you know she had (has?) a radio talk show and is very controversial. I did agree with a few ideas, such as communication differences of men and women. Men really just want talk about the best play of a "game" and the score, while women tend to go into too much detail and practically review the whole "game" down to the type of shoe the player was wearing. I can definitely relate to that when I talk to DH and mid story his eyes glaze over.

I do disagree with the fact that she is very general in comparing all men alike and all women that complain as selfish. In reading I found her to be very "Old Fashion" and not updated with todays working women, some stay at home dads and also the two career families.

I did read with an open mind, but by the end I skipped the last three chapters when I gave into my own opinions and ignored the voice REMINDING me to keep reading.

Click here to see a funny description of marriage!

Tag, . . .

if you haven't been tagged by this one and are reading this . . . your it!!

Copy these questions then answer with ONE WORD answers!! Its hard, good luck.

1. Where is your cell phone? hiding
2. Where is your significant other? couch
3. Your hair color? brown-red
4. Your mother? near
5. Your father? far
6. Your favorite thing? cuddling
7. Your dream last night? nothing
8. Your dream/goal? parent
9. The room your in? office
10. Your hobby? work
11. Your fear? barren
12. Where do you want to be in six years? happy
13. Where were you last night? couch
14. What you’re not? ungrateful
15. One of your wish list items? baby
16. Where you grew up? MN
17. The last thing you did? eat
18. What are you wearing? hoodie
19. Your T.V.? HD
20. Your pets? spoiled
21. Your computer? old
22. Your mood? calm
23. Missing someone? Ali
24. Your car? dirty
25. Something you’re not wearing? belt
26. Favorite store? Kohls
27. Your Summer? short
28. Love someone? lots
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
31. Last time you cried? AF

I am wanting YOUR opinion.

Do you think weight is an issue with infertility?

In all the things I've been doing in our TTC efforts there is one that I am having a hard time with. I am overweight, honestly I am about 20lbs away from what I want to be and 40lbs from where I REALLY want to be. I am 5'8", and 190 lbs. MY ideal weight is not "thin" by all means but I would rather reach that goal and maintain than look super model skinny. I carry my weight pretty good, but its the fertility aspect I'm looking at.

I lost 20 lbs on Weight Watchers for my wedding, but of course throughout summer I found every single one!! I need a life changing plan. I am going to start WW again, but I've been saying that for a month already.

Motivation?

A weekend to my self, sort of.

My DH left early Sat. morning (hunting camp). He is so sweet when he gets worried that I'm alone all weekend. Silly man. I love him but I also love my "me" time.

Saturday I had to work a bit, then I invited my mom to stop in so I could give her a color and haircut. It's the easiest way to pay her back for being such a great mom. Every woman loves a little pampering, lucky me to be in the business!!

My sis, Lori, got dropped off by her BF. She had her 4th ankle surgery about 4 weeks ago and can't put weight on it yet (so no driving either). We all went out for lunch, then shopping. We stopped at Goodwill to piece together my witch (bitch) costume, found a really funky shaul and black skirt. I'll have to remember to take some pics!!

After all that, I relaxed all night with my baby boy (Roscoe, the dog). Would have been nice to include a glass of wine but I'm in my 2WW and can't justify it. For that reason, I also skipped out on meeting Lori and another friend out at the bar. Battle of the Bands was going on, but if any of the bands sucked its not like I could drink to make them sound better.

Today with some anxiety from Roscoe (needed to go out, and wanted to be fed) I got up and went to the store for the Sunday papers. I still like to read the Duluth News Tribune even though I haven't lived there for 8 years, I miss it and like to someway keep in touch. I also get the Grand Rapids Herald Review. Tiny paper but I need to find out what there is to do in this town for the winter. I am not gonna get stuck in the Blahs of Winter!!

Later I'm going to my moms for dinner. She's making lasangna and I can't resist!! So much for my weekend to myself. Jerry is jealous about the lasangna part, so I bring him home a piece (if there is any left).

A little under the weather.

Haven't been feeling so hot since Sat evening. Stomach cramps and other lower body issues along with slight fever! All I could do on Sunday was lay around in bed, watch TV, and rush to the bathroom all day. No food, did try soda crackers but even that caused me to cramp up, OOwwiee!!

As of Saturday, we are officially in the 2WW of this cycle Don't know if my illness is anything to be concerned about in our TTC efforts, but I tried drinking lots of fluids just in case.

Still a bit of cramping today, so no coffee and still haven't tried to eat yet. Maybe some toast. Have to work at noon today, I think I can suck it up!!

Later!

How do ya like me now?

I needed a change, usually it would be my hair, but today I decided to give my blog the makeover!! This is what I get when I find new blogs and along with them new ideas!!

Got great news? I do. My friend, Carrie, at Life in the Soupbowl is pregnant!! Yippie, she posted it on her blog and facebook so I felt it was ok to let you here know. This was her second IVF procedure, the first resulted in her now 18 month daughter. Now the suspence is on for "is there one or TWO?".

Carrie was sweet and thoughtful enough to send me the news in a personal email, she knows the pain this news can bring to "infertiles". I am happy for them and really didn't feel much of that ENVY sting because the hope she brings to our situation. Now my prayers are for a smooth pregnancy and healthy delivery!! Congrats Carrie and CJ!!

As for us, I am having some mood swings (blaming on Clomid). I am kind of in limbo . . . not sure if I'm feeling relaxed since we've done this enough times or if I'm feeling that this time just won't work. I should O this week. I have my monthly "Mental Health Day" on Friday complete with a hot stone massage and lunch with a friend.

Listen to the music!!

Please have your speakers on to learn a little more about me and what I like to listen to. I am quite varied!! I added a playlist to the bottom of my blog so scroll down if you want to take a listen to more songs.

I finally got home on Tuesday from my long weekend in Wisconsin Dells for the "Hair" show. I love going to them . . . lots of excitment, education, and some partying!!

Saturday we arrived in the evening and had a great dinner then settled into our room. Sunday I didn't have classes so I checked out the HUGE outlet mall. Shopping went a little like, one pretty pink sweater for me, one long sleeve T-shirt for DH, one cute top for me, one simple half zipper top for DH, etc. . . Less guilt that way.

Sunday night was the comedian (6 on a scale of 1-10). Then moved to the night club in the resort, they got DJ Christacy from season 1 & 2 of the show "So You Think You Can Dance". Very impressive! and Hunky!! Also had four professional flair bartenders, sucked trying to get a drink though.

Monday was my early day. Shows started at 8:30am and you had to get there early to grab your coffee from the brewhouse and get a good seat.

First up was Paul Mitchell. Shows are almost like mini concerts. Awesome music, very exciting, lots of action!! They had 5 platform artists and about 12 models. Vibrant color trends still making the scene.



Next was Brocato, with Sam Brocato (owner and creator) of this amazing professional line. He is an incredable man, 1976 opened first salon,1982 named World's Top Fashion Hairstylist (London), 1986 "Beautiful Business" Best Seller, etc, etc, etc, and still on top with his product line and salons all with only an 8th grade education.




Goldwell with Color Trends of '08



And my favorite event of the day was from Sexy Hair. Sorry no pics since I was too involved and they move around so much you really can't capture much.

But I am super excited and back into my work again with a renewed outlook and recharged creative edge. Any volunteers???

Clomid #3

I start my 3rd round of Clomid tonight. I really hope threes a charm, but then if its not then we are on to something else . . . IUIs! Not sure how I feel about heading into the next chapter of IF but for now I will leave it alone.

I'm currently at a "Hair" convention in Wisconsin Dells. I will update when I get home on Tues evening. But I love the resort we are staying at!!

Bad Mood . . . Take a Hike, Literally!

It always amazes me how much a good long walk (or hike) can really make the difference in your attitude. Its so hard to be miserable when you are surrounded by so much beauty (and fresh air). Its so easy to be distracted in the woods, I'm sure in the dark you really get distracted by it!!

Here are a few pics I snapped when we took Roscoe to Soumi Hills for a nice little HOUR long jont!!

Crabby Crappy!!

My word of the day, the only thing I can think of to describe how much of a funk I'm in these last two days. No real reason, but nothing has worked to change my mood. So my plan is to just ride it out!!

Poor Hubby!!

On the other hand I want to say I am super excited and put all of my good vibes into my friend Carrie. They are primed for their IVF egg donor transfer!! Thursday is the donors retrieval, then from there they will transfer embryos on Sun (3day) or Tues (5day). She is over at "Life in the Soupbowl" if you want to follow!! Add your prayers too!

))) Good Vibes (((

Later (when I'm out of my funk)!!

DHEA miracle or hype??

I'm not sure how much I've mentioned about DHEA. I started taking it just over a month ago (August 11th to be exact). The research I've found on it says it takes about 4 months for it to really be effective due to egg production (development starts 3 months prior to ovulation). I also started taking fish oil for my Omega-3, since I don't eat much in that department.

I have not mentioned taking DHEA to my doc since I haven't seen her since our first round of clomid. DHEA is an over-the-counter supplement, but may ask her about getting a prescription, depending on her views of it. I plan on making an appt or calling IF (positive thinking) my next cycle begins. I have a few thoughts/questions I would like to go over before for my third/last round of Clomid.

I'm taking 25mg three time a day (75mg total). Some of the research and studies I've read states anywhere from 25mg to 150mg daily. I decided on 75 since it was a happy medium and it was listed as protcol for one study I found.

Side effects: One that really stands out is mild headaches but that is normal since it supposedly increases estrogen=headaches. I figured that out on Clomid too!! The other thing I've noticed is *TMI to follow* increased cervical mucus. Not a bad thing at all!! I'm not as HUNGRY lately either . . . BONUS!

Here are a couple of the websites I've found:

www.centerforhumanreprod.com/premature_ovaries.html


www.ingentaconnect.com/content/oup/humrep/2000/00000015/00000010/art02129

Feel free to send me any comments or thoughts you have.

My Garden . . .

A moment of silence . . .

for all the men, women and children who lost their lives 7 years ago today in the WTC, Shankville, and Pentegon terrorist attacks. That day is still clear in my mind. What I felt when I first heard about the first plane, then listening to all the updates throughout the morning. I was at work giving a permanent to a client and all I wanted to do was call all of my friends and family. I knew no one personally involved but such a tragedy reminds you of how quick loved ones can be gone forever.

MUSHY STUFF:
To all of you reading this, I love you all and hope to see you soon.

*silence*

The B*tch is Back!

Cycle Day 1. I am amazed at the hope I always seem to have during the two week wait. I convince myself that every cycle I am one step closer to our miracle of conceiving our child. I go over all the positives . . no blockage, DH has great sperm count, I ovulate normal without drugs (textbook 28-29 day cycles), produce lots of follicles when on meds, I don't smoke, rarely drink (not much when I do), I'm otherwise healthy (could lose a few pounds), no allergies, have tons of education now on my cycle and body, vitamins, eating better, getting sleep, relaxation and meditation up the a**, working out. . . you name it I'm working on it. Even last night when I started spotting I gave myself a pep talk:

*The time isn't right, perfection takes time. You need one more month to enjoy without morning sickness, worries of miscarriage, getting finances in better standing, one last glass of wine, losing a couple more pounds for a healthier pregnancy. Your still young, lots of women don't start IVF until 36-40. Don't worry we aren't even at the two year mark. Lots of other treatments to try, add the HCG shot on the next clomid cycle, then three cycles of IUI, then we still have IVF. It will happen*

I got up, took my advil (cramps!!), and went to work, made a trip to Walmart, went to lunch with DH, put stuff away, laid down and bawled!! I almost made it without crying my eyes out this time. Damn tears snuck up on me. Why did I think I could handle it any better this time?

Tomorrow I will pick my self up again, by the end of this week I will be thinking about trying one more month, I will ovulate, and another two week wait begins. Hope is reborn.

I know the strength is not mine.

I guess I've been slacking a bit. Still trying not to spend too much time on my computer but between bills online, mine and others blogs, email, iphone music and apps, and of course Facebook, it's hard!!

Last weekend we went to the cities and spent some time with my sis Lori, her BF Tim, and my nephew Zak. Also sis Kelly and BF Pat made it over to join us at the Reneisance Festival. We had and great time . . .

Kelly and Zak


Zak and his "Must Have" Turkey Leg



Zak and his crossbow



As you can see we love having our nephew along. Pretty good kid and doesn't ask for much.

On Sunday we were at my Dad and Steph-moms for a BBQ. I really didn't get many pics with so much going on but here are a couple . . .

Dad's Fruit Tree


My Parents new puppy Tessa (5 months old)




We got home on Monday afternoon after picking Roscoe up from his other grandparents (mom and Den). Oh, how I missed him!! I managed to hold off the check-in calls until Monday morning. Boy do we need to have children!!

We got our information packet regarding adoption, i only read a small part of it and set it aside. We are not truely giving up on TTC, but I thought that refocusing our efforts might help the anxiety. Its not working. Reading our chances of adopting a baby is pretty slim. Mostly what they talk about are kids that are currently in the system but have physical, social, and/or emotional problems. It makes me sad but also scared. I feel aweful wanting a baby, but unsure of taking a child with problems I wouldn't be prepared for. I haven't been able to pick up the adoption stuff since. My concern is that adoption takes time and the longer we wait we may miss many opportunities. There is a 2 hour introduction class, and lots of paperwork to fill out. Then the next 16 hour class is October 2 & 3. I need to give it some more time and thought.

New News

Early this week I joined Facebook. Thanks to my Steph-mom (not a type-o, thats my nickname for her), she joined and then for me to see her profile I had to join then I seen everyone else on there that I lost contact with and now I'm addicted. Even put pics on there and filled out cheesy "All About Me" stuff!! I will never seem to disconnect for modern technology!! Oh Well!!

Another thing that's new has to do with the babymaking part of our life. DH and I have talk about how things are going and have decided to start looking into the adoption process. Lucky us, I have a client that is in the adoption field and, even luckier for us, she was in today and said she could help us get started. I don't know how this is going to go yet emotionally, but so far I have a good feeling that makes this option worth checking out.

Sunday Inspirations

Inspirational Quotes

Tuesday thoughts.

Wow! Tuesday already!! I have to say I've enjoyed it, kind of took a half day off for a "mental health" day. I went in and did a couple of clients, 11AM I had a wonderful full body massage (thanks to DH), and followed that with a light lunch with my preggo friend Kate! Sometimes its nice to hear her bitch about being pregnant (I'm evil). Then I went back to work for one more client. Now I'm home catching up on emails, etc. DH is out fishing with a buddy and text me to let me know he'll be home later, no problem, more time with myself to enjoy. I'm sure he's happy too!!

This second cycle of clomid is going well like the first. Nothing different, currently feeling like I have two grapefruits in my lower abdomine. Kind of uncomfortable but not painful. Should be in the 2ww soon. Mood is even, not excited about this cycle, but still have some hope though not much. Just go with it, nothing else to do. Prayers are welcome.

Finally . . .

I got them to go through!! How funny it is to wait for an instant idea of what your children might look like. Aren't they cute!! Now I really can't make up my mind on which I would rather have, a Gigget or a Gibby?!?! *Not their real names*

My new sweet baby - Gigget!

What do you think about my little new baby Gigget?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

My new sweet baby - Gibby!

What do you think about my little new baby Gibby?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Babymaking Babble

I know I have a life lesson in this babymaking journey but I just want to know what level in this "game" am I on?? I think I'm stranded on the Emotionally Frustrated level. Sunday night I knew I was expecting AF, didn't even try testing this month. I figured since we were taking a break I would go with the flow, and AF I found. I was the most upset this time more than any other month. I cried my self to sleep in the spare room since DH went to bed before me and was already snoring in la la land (I was sooo jealous).

I think what really upset me is that I finally relaxed this time and forgot about charting and thinking about babies, feeling a pregnancy, deciding on cloth diapers (yes), looking at safe strollers, car seats, nursery furniture, what it would be like going on family vacations, first day of school, starting a college fund, etc. Ok, back on track. I had gotten through a month without dreaming, and what did that get me . . . not pregnant. I was so upset I actually thought of giving up totally and then I realized something more scary than not being pregnant, not knowing what to do with my life if I couldn't be a mom!!

*I'm crying just typing this*

I cried at that thought til I fell asleep.

When I woke up Monday morning with puffy eyes I still felt awful. DH made me coffee and I went to my Chiro for my appt. Seeing that I was suffering more than "Monday Blues" we talked about research he had been doing on our situation. I blubbered a bit at how much he is putting into this and a few tissues later we decided to keep doing adjustments, looking into supplements to add to mine and DH's diet (more omega-3, fish oils). Went home and got a hug and kisses from the DH and told him the plan.

Tuesday AF made her grand entrance, I always spot a few days before. Emotionally back to normal and going with the plan to relax and limit the baby thoughts. Working on getting me out of the house and back in to shape to reduce stress. I used to LOVE to workout and I want to feel that way again!!

Thanks Carrie, for the letting me know about SparkPeople.com. I find it super motivating and keeps me in check with fitness, diet, and activities to keep going!!

Weds - I felt even better and ready to do make some more changes, joining a gym! Not officially, just a 1 week trial! Plus picked up my prescription for Clomid. Yep, cycle #2 with Clomid (and Chiro, relaxing, working out). Too much, we'll see.

Thurs - Started Clomid, and bought new shoes . . . for the gym!! Also down loaded a new book "The Shack" and some more meditation podcasts!! Yeah!!

Final note before I sign off to this post, I found a website that combines pictures of you and your partner and shows you what your child would look like (makemebabies.com) and so I thought how cool and I tried it. After finding the right pics and setting it up I was ready to process it, pushed process button, and got this message: Sorry, our server is overloaded and cannot process your baby, please try again tomorrow, thank you for your patience.

Negative Thought: I can't even make a digital baby!!
Positive Thought: Must be one heck of a beautiful baby if we can't even see a preview!!

Another weekend, here and gone!!

I've had a good and busy weekend. Worked late on Friday night so I didn't feel guilty taking another Saturday off. Drove to Sebeka, MN with my sis, Lori, her BF Tim, and my nephew Zak. My cousin Jody and her daughter Melissa were visiting from San Bernadeno, CA to celebrate Melissa graduation from Cajon High School!! It was great to see lots of my rellies from my moms side and already looking forward to the family reunion next June!!

Woke up at 7am this morning, packed up and enjoyed coffee with my aunt and uncle before heading home.

Took a wonderful (much needed) nap as soon as I got home. Crabby was understated at this time. Woke up, took shower, got ready, and headed to SIL for a family gathering. Great food, tried red cake for the first time and unfortunatly LOVED IT!! Thanks MIL, Sally!!

Now home and ready for bed after this update. Will try to inject some excitement next time, for now I just have pics . . .

Below are a few of the amazing things I have been able to grow this summer (the amazing part is that they are still alive).






Here are some cute pics of my Aunt Gloria and Uncle Darrlys dog Sparky!! What a trooper, he loved the hat and posed perfectly for the camera. If only Roscoe would be so easy I would have billions of pics of him!!

It's been too long!

Wow! Time sure flies, between working and actually getting outside I don't seem to have time to spend on the computer like I normally do!! LOVE IT, but I also need my dose of blogs and email every now and then.

I'd like to thank my friend Carrie for her comments, anyone who checks out this blog can leave them too. Just click on "comments" and the site will tell you how.

Went camping again last weekend at Northland Lodge. I will give it two stars, only because of the pool and the company we had (Mom, Den, Zak, Barb and Gordy). The lot we had was right under the pole light and shared with an old, no-longer-in-use outhouse. Oh, don't let me forget the greeting we got from the owner and other campers warning us about the BEARS! One guy told us how they had to "put one down" because it came through often in daylight. It followed a lady to her RV and scratch up the door!! I have to remind you that we were tenting it, so not much protection!!

Roscoe again had a blast. Anytime he can be outside without a leash and roam with other people and meet new dog friends he's happy. Plus he went fishing and played tons of fetch at the lake!!

More later, will have time on Sunday to upload more pics then!!

I am NOT a morning person . . .

Well good morning, for those of you who know me you also know that I am NOT a morning person!! I can get up early, but only capable of holding my cup of coffee and watching updates on CNN, maybe the Today or Good Morning shows.

Well today not only was I up early, but in a meeting at 7AM!!! To add to this I also had to introduce myself to people I barely knew and speak somewhat intellectually as I gave a 60 speech (commercial for mine and Scotts businesses) off the top of my head. My friend and Chiro (Scott) is the president of BNI (networking organization) and called me last night to ask if I could sub for him today since his mother was having surgery today. How could I say no . . . EASILY, if he hadn't mentioned "mother" and "surgery". So that is what lead me to my early morning . . . and my ability to post a current update on my blog. Not much else I want to do other than go back to bed, which I wont be able to sleep due to the coffee grounds I still have lodged in my teeth. No, I didn't really eat it straight just SERIOUSLY thought about it!!

I spent part of my night last evening pureeing zuccine, summer squash, and sweet potatoes due to the cookbook I recently purchased. Also managed to write down a hugh grocery list so that tonight I can start making some receipes for our adventure into eating healthier and hopefully edible foods!! All is going well so far, slight damage to steamer pot that I'm sure a good soak and scrub will cure. Note to all new to steaming, check water levels often!! The whole house smelled like burnt sweet potatoes and I was only prepping!! Lesson learned.

My friend Carrie at Life in the Soupbowl recommended another cookbook that I will be purchasing next called "Hungrey Girl". Let me know if any of you have or heard of it!!

Well, I will now be on my way to work with much accomplished for this day already!!

It's Sunday evening already?!?!

Weekends go by soooo fast, but at least I can say we enjoyed it!!

Our original plan was to head for the Cities on Friday after work for Gabe's Gopher Invitational Baseball Tournament, but with the bad storms heading that way DH made the call to go directly to Hayward for our camping portion of the weekend.

I'm glad DH made the decision, cuz if you didn't realize he is a baseball (Gabe's career) freak!! Very supportive and lives to watch any and all games!!

Anyways, had a relaxing weekend of eating, catching up with my Dad and Steph, shopping, and watching the weather channel (seriously for the whole night on Friday). Had an exciting night riding out the remaining part of the storm in a camper, we survived.

Got a tip from Steph about a cookbook I should get, and that obviously led to picking it up right away at Barnes and Noble in Duluth. It's Deceptively Delicious, by Jessica Seinfeld, and since I don't cook very often and nothing that is considered nutritious I though it would be a place to start. I started reading it on the way home and it is my kind of cookbook. Very smart ideas about pureed food and hiding your veggies in your meals. Also, its very step by step including lists. I like lists!!

No kids yet to make them "eat your vegetables", but a DH that would benefit from the meals and get me one step closer to trophy wife status!! I'm planning on trying some receipes out this week (even got DH to buy me a Magic Bullet, I've always wanted one). I'll update later in the week.

On the Babymaking front, got a call from Doc's nurse and my progesterone levels are back to normal. Doc said we were all clear to start Clomid again, but we decided to take this cycle off. We aren't against it, just think we will put it on the back burner for at least a cycle or two. I didn't realize til this week how moody and irritated I was with all the hormones going through me.

The only thing I'm doing is taking our chiropractors advice . . . don't do anything, except relax. That means no temping, doing CM checks, OPKs, or charting!! So far it's been easy. . . surprisingly. I am going in to see my chiro more often, he thinks being adjusted regularly will help since my job puts my body out of whack. So to create the best situation we will keep my body in check (maybe eating better will help too). Thankfully I trust Scott and we trade services so I won't be out anything.

Hopefully I'll check in before next weekend, that seems to be a hard goal to accomplish for me. We'll see if this is the week!! Take Care All!!

Latest in our Babymaking Quest

I totally forgot that the few that read this are wondering how this babymaking process is going for us. Not good.

I had my progesterone levels checked on CD21 (week after ovulation) and I got a call from my Doc's nurse last Weds and she just told me it was high and that I should test the next morning (Thurs, July 3). Kind of excited but I know better than to get my hopes up. So being the seeker of too much knowledge in this babymaking quest, I decided to look up online what the normal range for progesterone was and what was considered high levels. Not knowing what my number was I looked at all the possible levels people have had. The normal range for not pg to early pg was 5-30, anything above 14 being a good number. Did see outragous numbers of 200 in women who had been on high doses of clomid for 3-6 months.

Tested Thurs morning and I had prepared myself for the negative on the HPT, and it was negative. I called the nurse to let her know, and asked her finally what my level was . . . 500!! Apparently I responded very well to Clomid.

I talked to the nurse to ask what that really meant but she just said I have to go in for a recheck on my progesterone Day 3 of my next cycle. I guess to see that it goes back to normal.

We decided to take this next cycle off and wait to talk to my Doc after the new labs. Actually looking forward to a cycle with no temping or testing or worrying or wondering!?!?

I'm still waiting for AF, temps have dropped and I know she is just around the corner (today or tomorrow).

Oh, a camping we will go!!

We left on Thurs evening after a long day at work. Had planned on staying until Sunday morning but change in plans and we came home today, which I didn't mind cuz I forgot how devilish those mosquitoes can be!! TRANSFUSION, please!

I'm still getting used to remembering that I have a brand new camera/video recorder (yep I forgot it)!! But with todays modern conveniences they come standard on your phones, even if the "phone" itself doesn't get reception. I also found out how easy it is to take 'em and just email 'em to myself!! Thanks Apple!! Moral of the story . . . if I am ever attacked by a bear or other wild animal, my cries for help will arrive graphically by email. Please forward to emergency services and park rangers, they should be able to track my phone's GPS for approximate location of my remains.

Well here's our wonderful tent we received from sis Kelly for our wedding shower. Thanks again Kelly, we love it!



This is our scenic view . . . beautiful.



Another look outside.



Hubby relaxing . . .



And yet another beautiful view, the only thing you can't see is the billions and trillions of mesquitoes flying around!!



Mom and Denny relaxing . . .



Roscoe relaxing . . . in between fighting off the bugs!!


No pics of me, everyone was too busy . . . ?! I don't mind, not at my best without a shower!!

Sunny Sunday!

Today was a great summer day!!

I woke up this morning and my DH had made me coffee, then relaxed a bit before offically starting my day. Headed to my house to meet my mom so we could work on some of the painting, cleaning, and lawn mowing stuff. Came home to take the best shower ever (always the best after a hard days work, right!). Went to our nephew Gabe's championship game, which they won the whole tournment with five straight wins!! Went to dinner with the in-laws, shopped at Target, and finally home to catch you up on my fullfilling, and plain Sunday.

Also want to say "Congratulations!" to Gabe for being Duluths Player of the Year!! We are all so happy and proud! They did a hugh article in the paper that took up most of the front sports page!!!

In other updates, here are the pics of our newly decorated bedroom. Still clean enough for me to take pictures and new enough for me to still love it!!














I'll try to update sooner this week since we will be camping on the 4th and then working on the house when we get back on Sunday again.

Take care!!

How 'bout a Quickie!

Not that kind! Here is just a quick update. If you checked out my chart you will notice that I ovulated on Thurs. (thats the red vertical line on my chart) and am currently in the 2ww (two week wait). I am actually enjoying it this time since:
A) Busy getting my "Thank Yous" done and in the mail soon!
B) Working on my house so that we can possibly get it sold before I have to pay for heat this winter!!
C) This is actually the most relaxing part of my cycle, no worring about when to take meds, temp, pee on something (OPKS)!! Just wait! AAHHhhh!

I was really excited to see my BFF Ali on Sat for the Land of the Loon Festival, but she had an aweful morning. Going out to her car that morning she noticed that her tires had be slashed, not just her car though . . . the whole block had its tires slashed!! How horrible, we had this planned for months!!

Today my DH and I worked on my house all day. Glad to say we got alot done, but still lots to do. I'll sleep good tonight for sure!!

I'll post more later this week! Hope we are all off to a great summer and good health!!

Lots to catch up on!!

Happy belated Fathers Day to all! Sorry I don't have pics yet, I do have video of my dad with Zoey from over the weekend, just haven't gotten to that part in my instruction manual.

Next post to come is pics of our new bedroom, while its still clean.

OK, now the good stuff . . .
Had my Follicle Study Ultrasound today. I have to say "I LOVE MY NEW DOCTOR" she is awesome. Her looks remind me of Dr. ???? (I forgot her name, older blonde surgeon, kisses Kaley at the end of the last season) on Greys Antomy but younger, and she has a great sense of humor! Well the first good news is that my 4cm cyst on the left is still only 4cm. Thats good and means that it is uneffected by the Clomid. Second good news is that on the left along side the 4cm cyst I have TWO mature follicles, yeah. Third good news was the funny part, my Doc almost screamed she was so suprised when she zoomed to the right side. I have THREE (possibly four, one was hiding) mature follicles!! WOWWIE!! Normally they take the total number of follicles and divide them by 2 and that is the possible number of babies we COULD have if all works right. This gives us very good odds and my Doc said that she is pretty positive we will become pregnant sometime in the next three cycles since I responded so well to the clomid this time.

On another note, I'm currently reading a new book. I had to buy it after staying up till midnight one evening watching Oprah. She's good. "You Can Heal Your Life" , by Louise L. Hay. Just another one about positive thinking, kind of like "The Secret". I don't necessarily agree that you can heal cancer but I like the mantras and techniques to reprograming your thinking for better outcomes. What can it hurt?!?



My guinea pig, my muse! Notice I will be posting random photos now since I need to find new subjects to master my new camera!! The last one will show just how desperate I am!!







Here is my newest success . . . RADISHES!! From our very own garden!! They were delicious and I have two different produces under my belt. The first is tomatoes from last year!! Two small steps for us, and soon one giant savings at the grocery store, ya right!