Babymaking Babble

I know I have a life lesson in this babymaking journey but I just want to know what level in this "game" am I on?? I think I'm stranded on the Emotionally Frustrated level. Sunday night I knew I was expecting AF, didn't even try testing this month. I figured since we were taking a break I would go with the flow, and AF I found. I was the most upset this time more than any other month. I cried my self to sleep in the spare room since DH went to bed before me and was already snoring in la la land (I was sooo jealous).

I think what really upset me is that I finally relaxed this time and forgot about charting and thinking about babies, feeling a pregnancy, deciding on cloth diapers (yes), looking at safe strollers, car seats, nursery furniture, what it would be like going on family vacations, first day of school, starting a college fund, etc. Ok, back on track. I had gotten through a month without dreaming, and what did that get me . . . not pregnant. I was so upset I actually thought of giving up totally and then I realized something more scary than not being pregnant, not knowing what to do with my life if I couldn't be a mom!!

*I'm crying just typing this*

I cried at that thought til I fell asleep.

When I woke up Monday morning with puffy eyes I still felt awful. DH made me coffee and I went to my Chiro for my appt. Seeing that I was suffering more than "Monday Blues" we talked about research he had been doing on our situation. I blubbered a bit at how much he is putting into this and a few tissues later we decided to keep doing adjustments, looking into supplements to add to mine and DH's diet (more omega-3, fish oils). Went home and got a hug and kisses from the DH and told him the plan.

Tuesday AF made her grand entrance, I always spot a few days before. Emotionally back to normal and going with the plan to relax and limit the baby thoughts. Working on getting me out of the house and back in to shape to reduce stress. I used to LOVE to workout and I want to feel that way again!!

Thanks Carrie, for the letting me know about SparkPeople.com. I find it super motivating and keeps me in check with fitness, diet, and activities to keep going!!

Weds - I felt even better and ready to do make some more changes, joining a gym! Not officially, just a 1 week trial! Plus picked up my prescription for Clomid. Yep, cycle #2 with Clomid (and Chiro, relaxing, working out). Too much, we'll see.

Thurs - Started Clomid, and bought new shoes . . . for the gym!! Also down loaded a new book "The Shack" and some more meditation podcasts!! Yeah!!

Final note before I sign off to this post, I found a website that combines pictures of you and your partner and shows you what your child would look like (makemebabies.com) and so I thought how cool and I tried it. After finding the right pics and setting it up I was ready to process it, pushed process button, and got this message: Sorry, our server is overloaded and cannot process your baby, please try again tomorrow, thank you for your patience.

Negative Thought: I can't even make a digital baby!!
Positive Thought: Must be one heck of a beautiful baby if we can't even see a preview!!